I AM SO FAT THIS IS THE END/START OF A NEW SKINNY ME

I weigh 150 pounds.

I am 5'8" and I weigh 150 pounds.

Just joined a gym, good start, but got on a scale.

150 pounds.

I always like to tell people that I weigh more than I do so they are like SHUT UP NO WAY!!! So, usually I say I weigh 140. And the reaction is always "you liar! you weigh like 130." And 130 is what I always thought I weighed. It would really fluctuate, and would get as high as 140.... but never 150.

I want to kill myself. But I can't. Because I have a bunch of stuff to do this week and I can't be bothered with suicide.

So, I started the LEMONADE CLEANSE today. Day 1. You lose 2 pounds everyday. Last Christmas when I did it, I was thrilled with how I looked. Never 100% pleased, but totally bathing suit (laying down only) ready (but not the backs of my legs, butt.) the tummy was flat as heck tho and thats all that mattered.

Day 1 on lemonade. In 5 days I will be 140, in 10 days I will be 130 pounds. Plus, working out daily.



I don't think anyone reads this, but for my own motivation, here is what I ate yesterday and I am going to try to blog about the lemonade diet (probably will be like DAY 5: IM REALLY HUNGRY AND IM STILL FAT) but this is IT!! It took me until now to realize that I needed to do this.... Winter is a bad time of year... you don't have to wear a bathing suit, you can wear bigger, baggier clothes, you even wear clothes when you sleep with your boyfriend bc its so freaking freezing! The only time you see your body is in the shower! and everything looks better when you are looking down rather than looking in a mirror.


Yesterday:
Weight: 150

NOTHING ALL DAY until...
Dinner: Chicken Fried Steak and REALLY buttery mashed potatoes
Smoked: 1 blunt, 1 bong rip
Water: 1 glass if that
Adderall: Yes


Today (Feb. 5)
Weight: 148
Nothing! Yet!
So far, 2 glasses of lemonade with the organic grade b syrup and cayenne pepper! Off to a good start!