I weigh 150 pounds.
I am 5'8" and I weigh 150 pounds.
Just joined a gym, good start, but got on a scale.
150 pounds.
I always like to tell people that I weigh more than I do so they are like SHUT UP NO WAY!!! So, usually I say I weigh 140. And the reaction is always "you liar! you weigh like 130." And 130 is what I always thought I weighed. It would really fluctuate, and would get as high as 140.... but never 150.
I want to kill myself. But I can't. Because I have a bunch of stuff to do this week and I can't be bothered with suicide.
So, I started the LEMONADE CLEANSE today. Day 1. You lose 2 pounds everyday. Last Christmas when I did it, I was thrilled with how I looked. Never 100% pleased, but totally bathing suit (laying down only) ready (but not the backs of my legs, butt.) the tummy was flat as heck tho and thats all that mattered.
Day 1 on lemonade. In 5 days I will be 140, in 10 days I will be 130 pounds. Plus, working out daily.
I don't think anyone reads this, but for my own motivation, here is what I ate yesterday and I am going to try to blog about the lemonade diet (probably will be like DAY 5: IM REALLY HUNGRY AND IM STILL FAT) but this is IT!! It took me until now to realize that I needed to do this.... Winter is a bad time of year... you don't have to wear a bathing suit, you can wear bigger, baggier clothes, you even wear clothes when you sleep with your boyfriend bc its so freaking freezing! The only time you see your body is in the shower! and everything looks better when you are looking down rather than looking in a mirror.
Yesterday:
Weight: 150
NOTHING ALL DAY until...
Dinner: Chicken Fried Steak and REALLY buttery mashed potatoes
Smoked: 1 blunt, 1 bong rip
Water: 1 glass if that
Adderall: Yes
Today (Feb. 5)
Weight: 148
Nothing! Yet!
So far, 2 glasses of lemonade with the organic grade b syrup and cayenne pepper! Off to a good start!
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
french faux pas... fat
ok, so i am in gay ol pareeee. and a fatty. its a bummer let me tell you cause there are so many fucking chic hotties making out with their equally hot french banker boyfriends.
so far what i have eaten here: bread. cheese. cheese. bread. bread. bread. coffee. cigarette. bread.
so my new plan is to go on a carb free, dairy free diet. ie change my diet to cigarettes and coffee. with maybe a piece of camembert once a month.
so let me tell you my other new plan is to look like blaire waldorf from gossip girl. and i might be able to get semi close if i lose a good 40lbs. here is my tribute to my new fave girl crush.
portia de rossi. enough said - DO YOU WATCH ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT?? thats my other new obsession. and its kinda cool that shes my lez crush cause she actually is a lez! hah. (is this taking it too far?) anyway. i love her. check out these sweet pics:
also, can i please comment on some things sara said....
1. gemma ward is super hot, and im my oppinion better than kate moss. shes just old and crackie these days.
2. cindy crawfords children are redic hot... but first of all that beautiful blond boy (who i would clearly also date) bleaches his hair - it would have been cuter if those long golden locks were fo real. and secondly ... i dont really like children eather so it is impressiive to catch the attention of both you and me. good job crawford
3. jessica biel is stupid and fug
4. i bet jessica alba is a BITCH. and now shes pregers so maybes shell get fat and ugly.... unlikely... but we can always hope.
write soon and ill keep you up to date on my no carb/dairy diet. xx
so far what i have eaten here: bread. cheese. cheese. bread. bread. bread. coffee. cigarette. bread.
so my new plan is to go on a carb free, dairy free diet. ie change my diet to cigarettes and coffee. with maybe a piece of camembert once a month.
so let me tell you my other new plan is to look like blaire waldorf from gossip girl. and i might be able to get semi close if i lose a good 40lbs. here is my tribute to my new fave girl crush.
portia de rossi. enough said - DO YOU WATCH ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT?? thats my other new obsession. and its kinda cool that shes my lez crush cause she actually is a lez! hah. (is this taking it too far?) anyway. i love her. check out these sweet pics:
also, can i please comment on some things sara said....
1. gemma ward is super hot, and im my oppinion better than kate moss. shes just old and crackie these days.
2. cindy crawfords children are redic hot... but first of all that beautiful blond boy (who i would clearly also date) bleaches his hair - it would have been cuter if those long golden locks were fo real. and secondly ... i dont really like children eather so it is impressiive to catch the attention of both you and me. good job crawford
3. jessica biel is stupid and fug
4. i bet jessica alba is a BITCH. and now shes pregers so maybes shell get fat and ugly.... unlikely... but we can always hope.
write soon and ill keep you up to date on my no carb/dairy diet. xx
Thursday, January 24, 2008
the most perfect woman in the world...
i don't necessarily agree, but apparently, this woman is the most perfect woman in the world.
heres the article:
THE HAIR - Kelly has been blessed with naturally long, thick chestnut curls. Hair extensions are definitely not required. Shiny locks have long been a marker of health and therefore make a woman instantly more attractive to men.
THE FACE - Dr Ben Jones of Aberdeen University's Face Laboratory said: "Men from all cultures are drawn to a babyish face with big eyes and arched eyebrows which seem consistent with high estrogen levels."
THE BOOBS - Her 34E bust has no need of a silicone boost.
THE WAIST - "Super-beautiful" women have waists a third smaller than their hips and three-quarters their bust measurement, say researchers at the University of Gdansk in Poland.
THE HIPS - Researchers at the University of Texas say the perfect woman's hip to waist ratio is 0.7 - her exact measurements.
THE LEGS - At 5ft 8in tall she has longer pins than the average woman which makes her, according to experts at the University of Gdansk, more beautiful.
chick is dating billy zane (remember him?) and her name is kelly brook. never heard of her.
heres the article:
THE HAIR - Kelly has been blessed with naturally long, thick chestnut curls. Hair extensions are definitely not required. Shiny locks have long been a marker of health and therefore make a woman instantly more attractive to men.
THE FACE - Dr Ben Jones of Aberdeen University's Face Laboratory said: "Men from all cultures are drawn to a babyish face with big eyes and arched eyebrows which seem consistent with high estrogen levels."
THE BOOBS - Her 34E bust has no need of a silicone boost.
THE WAIST - "Super-beautiful" women have waists a third smaller than their hips and three-quarters their bust measurement, say researchers at the University of Gdansk in Poland.
THE HIPS - Researchers at the University of Texas say the perfect woman's hip to waist ratio is 0.7 - her exact measurements.
THE LEGS - At 5ft 8in tall she has longer pins than the average woman which makes her, according to experts at the University of Gdansk, more beautiful.
chick is dating billy zane (remember him?) and her name is kelly brook. never heard of her.
more fun!!
wait, are you kidding me.
i am never one to think kids are cute, and i NEVER think babies are cute. babies are retarded. they aren't cute. or maybe they are all cute, and thus indistinguishable from comparing its cuteness with any other baby.
but cindy crawford's kids are fucking beautiful. its like genetics really matter. look at her son (long blonde, yes a boy)... i would date him now and he's probably like 7. her daughter is so hot too. and shes like 4.
seriously i have never seen a more beautiful family. who is the daddy anyways??
found more pics from jessica biel's maxim layout. im jealous. she has pretty skin and shes so fit. god im such a lesbo.
kate beckinsdale is so perdy too.
rachel bilson in TEENSERS!! she could fit in my hand. shes so cute. shes my new obsesh.
scar jo! what a fatass!! click on these pics to make bigger, and to see her nasttttt nose ring. what a frumpy fatty. this is kind of how i look, except i never look like im going on a hike.
i am never one to think kids are cute, and i NEVER think babies are cute. babies are retarded. they aren't cute. or maybe they are all cute, and thus indistinguishable from comparing its cuteness with any other baby.
but cindy crawford's kids are fucking beautiful. its like genetics really matter. look at her son (long blonde, yes a boy)... i would date him now and he's probably like 7. her daughter is so hot too. and shes like 4.
seriously i have never seen a more beautiful family. who is the daddy anyways??
found more pics from jessica biel's maxim layout. im jealous. she has pretty skin and shes so fit. god im such a lesbo.
kate beckinsdale is so perdy too.
rachel bilson in TEENSERS!! she could fit in my hand. shes so cute. shes my new obsesh.
scar jo! what a fatass!! click on these pics to make bigger, and to see her nasttttt nose ring. what a frumpy fatty. this is kind of how i look, except i never look like im going on a hike.
chicks who i wish had dicks so i could talk shit about them and be more desirable to men because i dont have a penis
*an edit to my postings... click on these pictures. they have amazing resolution if you click on one, they go to a new page and are huge! dont know why they are so tiny and awful on this page, so click em!
gemma (who may have been dating heath at the time of his death?!!?! others say marykate??! whaaa?!? we might need to post separately about this...) jessica biel, and some other super model. isnt jessica biel hot even tho she's pretty thick?!
ashlee simpson whaaaa?? my friend knows her, for reals, and says she only eats carrots, lettuce & celery or doesn't eat at all. she takes lots of vitamins and diet pills. vitamins are probably a good idea... i mean then you can eat a lot less and still get some nutrients.
this is her on vacation in costa rica. i really like her bod. her boyfriend is really fuggers.
gemma is just really pretty. actually she is not that pretty... go to that website where you can see fashion shows and all the pics, i forget what it is.... but shes not like kate moss or anything but there is something about her. she can look really really pretty.
a tribute...
gemma (who may have been dating heath at the time of his death?!!?! others say marykate??! whaaa?!? we might need to post separately about this...) jessica biel, and some other super model. isnt jessica biel hot even tho she's pretty thick?!
ashlee simpson whaaaa?? my friend knows her, for reals, and says she only eats carrots, lettuce & celery or doesn't eat at all. she takes lots of vitamins and diet pills. vitamins are probably a good idea... i mean then you can eat a lot less and still get some nutrients.
this is her on vacation in costa rica. i really like her bod. her boyfriend is really fuggers.
gemma is just really pretty. actually she is not that pretty... go to that website where you can see fashion shows and all the pics, i forget what it is.... but shes not like kate moss or anything but there is something about her. she can look really really pretty.
a tribute...
well well well it's 2008 and im FAT! the fattest i've been since we first started this blog. i really got control of it for a while... the binge eating then starving. then the binge eating kept happening, without the starving.
altho jessica alba dresses like a retard in her everyday clothes (shes always wearing some dumb ed hardy pink hat) im lightweight obsessed with her body and obsessed with boys being obsessed with her. in general, im obsessed.
ok the bikini pictures really make her suck more
Here is an article about jessica alba admitting to an eating disorder!! god where can i get one?! i want one so bad!!!
Jessica Alba is a self-confessed ugly duckling...
The Fantastic Four star has also revealed that she's battled with an eating disorder.
The new darling of Hollywood has admitted that as well as eating problems, she's also struggled with obsessive compulsive behaviour, anxiety attacks and insomnia.
She told The Sun that she left school at 12 because she was so miserable and wanted so much more:
"I stopped going to regular school at seventh grade. I had big dreams. I was focused at a very young age. I hated school. I didn't have any friends."
At the time she was also in the early stages of an eating disorder:
"Everyone in my family is overweight. I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12."
The problem grew worse after she filmed Dark Angel in 2002, when she stopped eating and started a three-hour-a-day exercise regime.
"A lot of girls have eating disorders and I did too. I became obsessed with it."
When her weight went below seven stone and she couldn't stop shivering, she knew she had to sort it out.
The 24-year-old also revealed how she doesn't really rate her looks:
"I never see myself as a beautiful woman and have never traded on that to get ahead in this business," she said.
3 HOURS A DAY!!! WORKING OUT!!! AHHHHH I COULD NEVER
altho jessica alba dresses like a retard in her everyday clothes (shes always wearing some dumb ed hardy pink hat) im lightweight obsessed with her body and obsessed with boys being obsessed with her. in general, im obsessed.
ok the bikini pictures really make her suck more
Here is an article about jessica alba admitting to an eating disorder!! god where can i get one?! i want one so bad!!!
Jessica Alba is a self-confessed ugly duckling...
The Fantastic Four star has also revealed that she's battled with an eating disorder.
The new darling of Hollywood has admitted that as well as eating problems, she's also struggled with obsessive compulsive behaviour, anxiety attacks and insomnia.
She told The Sun that she left school at 12 because she was so miserable and wanted so much more:
"I stopped going to regular school at seventh grade. I had big dreams. I was focused at a very young age. I hated school. I didn't have any friends."
At the time she was also in the early stages of an eating disorder:
"Everyone in my family is overweight. I wanted to be healthier, so I started cooking for myself when I was 12."
The problem grew worse after she filmed Dark Angel in 2002, when she stopped eating and started a three-hour-a-day exercise regime.
"A lot of girls have eating disorders and I did too. I became obsessed with it."
When her weight went below seven stone and she couldn't stop shivering, she knew she had to sort it out.
The 24-year-old also revealed how she doesn't really rate her looks:
"I never see myself as a beautiful woman and have never traded on that to get ahead in this business," she said.
3 HOURS A DAY!!! WORKING OUT!!! AHHHHH I COULD NEVER
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